Educator Wellbeing -- the foundation of children’s self-regulation

Many services I work with seek support for children who are exhibiting behaviours that educators find challenging, and at times unsafe for themselves, other children, and adults around them. Often, teams are understandably hoping for strategies that will be immediately effective — approaches that will quickly change behaviour and help children develop self-regulation skills in a short space of time.

However, the reality is far more complex.

When educators are repeatedly responding to incidents, managing injuries, completing documentation, and having difficult conversations with families, the emotional load can become significant. Over time, many educators begin functioning in a continual state of alertness and stress. This can lead to emotional exhaustion, increased reactivity, and difficulty maintaining their own regulated state.

Yet self-regulation in children develops through hundreds of experiences of co-regulation with a calm, responsive, regulated and emotionally available adult.

This means that strategies aimed at supporting dysregulated children are unlikely to be fully effective if educators themselves are not adequately supported to regulate their own nervous systems. Supporting educator wellbeing, emotional regulation, and nervous system recovery is not an “extra”, it is the foundation of effective co-regulation and responsive practice.

When educators feel supported and more regulated themselves, they are better able to create the conditions children need to feel safe. This includes intentionally designed routines, rituals, environments, and interactions that help build predictability, trust, and connection. From here, educators can begin the important work of building relationships where children experience them as safe and trusted adults. For some children, particularly those who have experienced stress, inconsistency, insecure attachment or relational trauma, this can take considerable time. Even when educators are responding with warmth, consistency, and care, children may not immediately experience these interactions as safe or trustworthy. This requires ongoing patience, acceptance, emotional attunement, and understanding from educators as relationships are slowly built over time.

Regulation does not begin with behaviour management strategies. It begins with a foundation of positive organisational culture with strong relationships, safety for all, and regulated adults supporting dysregulated children through connection and co-regulation.